The Book I Didn’t Want to Read (But Needed to)
September 16, 2025
Writer: Liz Kane
Editors: Sydney Miller and Paige Schachtel
I am not the type of person that picks up a book to read for fun, and I am okay with that. Between studying, spending time with loved ones, and finding the time to stay up on the latest trends, I don’t find myself wanting to read in the few spare minutes I have each day.
But this mindset of mine started to shift gradually when my mom began telling me about the book she was reading: Mel Robbins’ The Let Them Theory.
At the beginning of the summer, I traveled to Cape Town, South Africa. Knowing very few people upon my arrival, I often found myself venting to my mom. Whether I was annoyed with a friend or feeling hopeless that I would never get a job, she always knew just what to say. Every now and then I would peek down at my lit-up phone to see a notification from my mom. One day, surprise surprise, it was another message related to Let Them. The notification read:“Like Let Them says, you cannot let her behavior get to you and steal your joy. She has her own wounds and you are not going to change her, so you have to decide if it is worth giving your energy to her behavior. When she does or says something that annoys you…just say, “Let Her” and move on. Life is short, just finish strong and let things go. At the end of the day…we are all on our own journey.”
As I read those words, I instantly felt a sense of relief.
When my time in Cape Town came to an end, I headed to the airport and realized I might want a book for the 16-hour flight ahead. As I strolled through the airport bookstore, I stumbled across The Let Them Theory. I tried to find anything else, because let’s be real, at that moment, the last thing I wanted to read was a so-called “self-help” book. But luckily for me, the options were slim so I caved and bought it.
To no surprise, my reluctance toward the book paired with the reality that reading on the plane felt far less enticing once I was actually in the air, meant the book went entirely unread.
However, when I got back to the States and reunited with my family, my mom continued to reference Let Them in various conversations. It was inescapable. Eventually, I figured it was about time I sat down and read the book—something I rarely do.
Fast forward three days and that 336-page book was finished. My whole mindset had transformed. While I could tell you all about the lessons I learned, I believe you will get the most out of them if you read The Let Them Theory yourself.
My mom took lessons from this book related to her marriage, parenting, and friendships. However, I realized things about myself, my relationships, and my response to things that would ordinarily trigger me. I realized that people can choose to be in my life, but I cannot beg them to stay. That’s the beauty of this book: every reader will take away different lessons, with each takeaway being just as valuable. I found myself glued to the pages because each chapter felt like another story I could relate to or a situation I could see myself facing in the future—one that I’d now know how to handle more appropriately.
So the next time your partner in your group project isn’t pulling their weight or your friend decides to bail last minute on plans, just say, Let Them. Let Them show you their true colors and move on.
While I never took myself for a reader, I am so glad I decided to purchase what I would have previously dismissed as a self-help book (even though I now realize that it’s way more than that). I was nudged by my mom’s constant messages, and by the lack of options in the Cape Town airport, but I ended up reading something I truly needed.
So now, let me be the person who nudges you. If you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, overwhelmed, or just need something to reframe the way you see people and yourself, read The Let Them Theory.
